FEEDBACK

The WORDWEB dictionary defines feedback as

NOUN: FEEDBACK 
1)Critical assessment or suggestions to improve performance 
2)The process in which part of the output of a systems is returned   to its input in order to regulate its further output 
3)Response to an inquiry or experiment

VERB: FEEDBACK 
1)Submit (information) again to a program or automatic system 
2)Respond to a query or outcome

Hey!!! don’t run away please. Neither am I interested nor am I distantly qualified to take a class on English language here. I am here simply to focus on the point 3 under noun: feedback. Ok, enough. I guess I must get to the point now.

It took me 12 posts and 13 days to share my blog with people through FACEBOOK. A big part of me was waiting for the feedback and a really big part of it was hoping it would be good. It was then I started to actually wonder, why am I writing in the first place? It’s significantly uncharacteristic of me to be attempting such a stunt! Being a guy who has never read a single comic book and never did more creative writing than a couple of essay competitions he was forced to participate in, it would be no way wrong to say that I and literature share the same relationship as Gabbar Singh and Thakur Sahab. The more spiritual part in me pops up here with what is apparently a satisfactory answer, to vent my emotions and thoughts. A friendly voice from the neighbourhood supports it saying "you are giving the world a fair chance to know your thoughts, doesn’t matter if all of them out there don’t read it". The “more like me” part in me says “nautanki sala!! Kaam dhanda hai nahin, nikal pada lekhak banne!”. The timidly intelligent part of me attempted to join in with its own opinion saying “it will help improve your writing skills and language in general”. But it was too much for the “more like me” part of me and I haven’t shown any sign of intelligence since then. There were a few other faint chatters I could hear but thought it wise to ignore them all.

Not really concluding much in this regard I diverted my mind towards the feedback that had just come in. The FACEBOOK likes and comments made me feel like I had just won the world cup for India. Some contained heavy words like “respect” and “inspire”  which were as good as a bucket at KFC. (Believe me, a bucket at KFC means a lot more to me than you can possibly imagine.) However, I now realize that feedback is crucial. May be it demands some courage to accept the criticisms and some down to earth attitude to take the pat on the back, but in whatever form it comes, it sure influences the cause. Some encourage, some motivate, some discourage and some go for the kill, but they all have significant effect on what would otherwise have been a very different outcome. It then struck me. May be, this is the true reason I write, to see what people feel about what I feel. Thankfully, the “more like me” part in me came to my rescue at this disastrous conclusion and I was spared a virtual life full of illusion, before it was too late. Though I realize the consequence of feedback now, I am still stuck with the question on my sudden interest in writing. May be “you know what!!” can help me out here.

Before signing off with this “not even a time-pass” post, I would like to sincerely thank all the readers who have lent me more than their time, patience and tolerance. Thanks a ton!! 

P.S: Refer to my earlier posts for "you know what!!".

The World's Not Enough

“The world is not enough” not even James Bond knew how true he was.

Man’s ambition is like a balloon. He, actually we, try to inflate it as much as we can, ultimately blowing it up. But man is also the most determined creature god came up with. As soon as he is done with one balloon, he gets a new one and there is no end to the adventure. But ever wondered where are those burst balloons disposed. Certainly not in this world, where will the ambitious blowers go then? Like every other problem, this problem was also seen and conquered, and ingeniously so. As I’m not talking technical, over the top stuff here, the solution’s really simple.  No place in this world? Create a new world!!  And that’s how the virtual world came into being.

The inhabitants of this Virtual world are characters played by people in the real world. Come on!! This was not that technical. Well, remember the burst balloons? In simple terms, these characters are nothing but slightly modified, more presentable, version 2.0s of those balloons, which are maneuvered by the people responsible for bursting the balloons in the first place, the ambitious blowers. Whoa!! Now that was technical, and difficult, and stupefying.

The greatest quality of the virtual world is perhaps the fact that it’s virtual. The fun of interacting with people without actually getting face to face with them is something that people in this real world will take some time to get bored with. With fingers doing the talking, the screened replies, the smiley disguised emotions, the deceptive profile pictures and profile info are too glamorous to let go. Addiction to this is natural. The day’s not far when terms like “opinion” will be replaced by “tweet”, “thoughts” by “blog” and perhaps “life” by “Facebook”. But one question has become undesirably significant here. With the AUDIOVISUAL aspect of meetings lost, are people meeting in the virtual world actually SEEING each other?

YES or NO, I guess I don’t care about the answer. This new world has added a new dimension to people’s life, gifted them with a projection of their self that they can modify to will without any physical constrains, allowed them to be someone they could never be in the real world. I guess that’s what makes this new world worth spending your leisure time in.

The balloon never bursts in the virtual world, rather it gets big enough to elevate you towards a truly out of the world experience. So, when the world’s not enough, just log in!!  

P.S: The above essay is the author’s attempt to acknowledge the Virtual World that so readily accepted his burst balloons and gifted him with a bunch of new ones. Please don't be technically critical about it.

The Flashback

Turning back the pages of my life, with a hope of an inspiring flashback, I find the negativity in me dominating what was supposed to be a wonderful experience. The episodes that unfold before me are a collection of scattered events without a defined direction. Though there are sparks of brilliance but they are almost all academic, something which I guess has never sounded sweet to me.

For a boy, most part of whose life thus far has been dominated by days of 9-5:30 schooling and a couple of years where he felt getting through some competitive exam was the ultimatum in one’s life, I  hardly see a possible way my life would have become any more eventful.

I have heard a lot of people talking about getting up every morning, looking at yourself in the mirror and questioning if what you’re doing is what you like. My mirror has not given me an answer yet even though I have been quite consistent with my efforts of finding one. I believe the answer to why there’s no answer lies in the movie LAGE RAHO MUNNA BHAI. Yes, it’s the “chemical locha” in our minds that is the CPU to the mirror, which itself is nothing more than a simple monitor.

What I can figure out is the absence of passion and enthusiasm for something in my life, that one thing, I can truly say I love. What I can’t figure out is where to get these virtues from? What’s the guarantee that the stuff I feel is lovely today will be the same way tomorrow? I have somehow chosen the path that’s most travelled by, the risk free one and have identified my comfort zone within frameworks of regulations and order. Neither did I ever have the courage nor the determination to let my life free and enjoy the chaos. Even now, having learnt so much about myself, I surprisingly still can't gather the courage and the determination to be the captain of my own ship.

There’s no way I am a failure I’m sure. But failure’s not the name of the game, it’s never been. The question is whether or not you are successful and the answer to that depends directly on how you define success. The definition of success for a common middle class man living in your neighbourhood will be a lot different than that of say, Bill Gates, even though both are happy and tensed in their own ways. I guess, the definition’s different for each individual and is a function of one’s measure of his own talents and abilities.

But after having pondered so much, I feel, am I not simply making things complicated? Life’s too short for complications. When will we live, if we just try and deal with complications? Guess that’s the reason I’m satisfied with this ordered life. At least I don’t have to worry about how a new day would be, every single day. I have learned living life this way and have learned to decorate it with sparkles of happy moments. The laughter I have shared with my friends, the love I have shared with my family, that first day on the driving seat, the only time I topped in the class, those twenty minutes of our band's winning performance at the fest, etc. etc. are all the li’l stars making this otherwise dark sky, worth looking at again and again. However depressed I may feel for not having achieved that “mis-defined” success, this flashback brings a smile on my face and guess that alone says, I have done a good job thus far.

Lecture

Everything that we do is followed by a question on its motive. A casual “Kya faida yaar?”; or a seemingly cool sounding “whats the point dude?”; or a li’l more indigenously violent “mujhe kya milega?.. kyuun karoon mein bata?”

Perhaps climbing the steps of evolution, walking on the sands of time, blah blah, the self centred half of the human brain has grown upon the kinder one. People think twice before stopping by and helping a dying man after a road accident! What if police comes and we get into all sorts of trouble? Is this not a question on the very humanity of the breed we so proudly claim "social"?

I feel sad reading reports that say people are most willing to help when they find some positive outcome for themselves. The unfortunate affair, however, is that the definition of this “positive outcome” part is unclear, and I guess, exploited.

Even though I am not authorised to, I would like to hereby make a humble request. Just try to find some time off your really busy schedule and give this thing a thought. When I do something that atleast I feel is selfless, won’t it give me the satisfaction that’s good enough to make my day? Well that certainly qualifies as a “positive outcome”. The smile that you would create, the acknowledgements that you get and the respect that you would command would surely weigh much more than any “positive outcome” you can think of.

Whoa!! That was quite a lecture! 

you know what!!

Today, I’m writing on something, because of which a lot has been said and done, but which has never received the acknowledgement that it truly deserves. Just hope you share my feelings!
For me it’s a lot more than the small room by the corridor. It’s the place that welcomes me with the same aura every single morning and fills me with the promise of a great day ahead. It’s the place which gives me the room to recreate the small,  apparently unimportant moments of my life and reflect upon them to appreciate life’s true beauty. It’s the place where thoughts get woven into imagination, where philosophies are pronounced, where novels are initiated, where the forgotten is recalled and where the untold can be expressed. It’s the place where the sick seek refuge and the depressed find solace. It’s the small white seat in there on which I am myself and I’m sure you are truly you.
I just hope a day will come when some great man will say the above words coz I know that behind all great men there might be women but behind their thoughts, you know what! 

P.S: I’m sure you are able to get who/what this article is directed at. If you aren’t, don’t worry coz the time’s not far, when you are going to find peace in the same.

The best days of my life

Being an engineering student may not be the most challenging job in the world but it certainly is no piece of cake… except momentarily on birthday parties where a poor chap is punished, sharp at midnight, for being born, which was not even his fault.

Well let me not divert from the topic. The emotional era, composed of one-liners like “mera beta engineer banega” are long lost. Parents have become broadminded and the children, they certainly know how to live. Engineering college life, the transition phase in one’s life, is characterized by such degree of turbulence that it takes four years to reach the equilibrium state. It’s like the sluice gates of the dam, which your parents built, have suddenly burst open and your life’s flooded with concepts like independence and freedom. There are actually thousands of other concepts that escape the same gate, concepts that external agencies commonly known as professors try to instil into your life. But these are such bouncers which only the most skilled of the players can attempt to play. Those players who at the end of it all are called by the rest, with respect and pride and a li’l “:P”, as “the 9 pointers”. All credit to those guys any ways for having worked like hell, quite literally. 

For an engineering student, tensions are many and pressure equally huge. Grades, assignments, lectures at one end to friends, not so friends, and girlfriends on the other, handling the glamor of college life is certainly way difficult than what Farah Khan and Shahrukh thought. But the reason you never hear a true engineering student complain is that the opportunities that you get are infinitely many, which more than compensate for all the pain in the arse. Forget about academics (if you just did that, I’m surprised you had it in your mind in the first place), what people carry out of colleges is far more valuable than tonnes of formulae and equations. All the li’l moments in the cafeteria, the queue in the mess, the chalk fight in the classrooms, the late submissions following a mass copying campaign, the fests, the tours, the celebrations, and most specially the uncountable eternal bonds that form automatically. May be that's the reason that people get emotional when the journey comes to an end. May be that’s the reason that I am scared to think of the fact that there’s just one more semester. May be that's the reason why these four years are the best days of one’s life.

These years as an engineering student might not make me a good engineer, but will certainly have transformed me into someone who is ending his student life as a Man ready to face the world on his own terms. And that’s why I respect these years of my college life and I always will.

P.S.: wondering who's a “true engineering student”? Refer to the post on "What I don’t want to be". Agey toh aap samajhdaar ho hi!!

from the movie "UDAAN"...

Jo lehron se aage nazar dekh paati
toh tum jaan lete main kya sochta hoon,
Wo aawaz tumko bhi jo bhed jaati 
toh tum jaan lete main kya sochta hoon.
Zid ka tumhare jo parda sarakta 
toh khidkiyon se aage bhi tum dekh paate,
Aankhon se aadaton ki jo palken hatate
toh tum jaan lete main kya sochta hoon.

Meri tarah khud par hota zara bharosa
toh kuchh door tum bhi saath-saath aate,
Rang meri aankhon ka baante zara sa 
toh kuchh door tum bhi saath-saath aate,
Nasha aasmaan ka jo choomta tumhe bhi,
hasraten tumhari naya janm paatin,
Khud doosre janam mein meri udaan chhoone
kuchh door tum bhi saath-saath aate.